Back on the Road

As everyone says you always have your good days and bad days. On the bad days you think that you don't want to do anything but just quit, and on the good days you are in love with what you do.
Sometimes you need to push and remind yourself why are you here for and what you really want to do and become, even if you really don't believe in you any more.

Ballet Class
I get in the studio by 9:35 a.m. I fill up my water bottle and then I start warming up and stretching. I sometimes think that this is going to be a good ballet class or not, but it usually turns out the opposite. I feel all warmed up with my iPod off and in my bag when the teacher comes in so I start taking my warm ups off really fast. We start our conditioning floor work and then we go to the barre. We do warm up, plie, tendu, jete, round de jambe a terre and I already feel drips of sweat on my face and back. The teacher is all over me and she gives me plenty of corrections. (starting to feel tired and fatigue) We continue with fondu, frappe, petite battement, tamps releve, adagio and grand battement. The teacher is starting to yell at me because I am not responding to the corrections anymore because my mind and body have no more energy. At this point you start hating yourself and starting to think why are you even here because you are the worst dancer in the world and that you have no chance to became what you want to be. You get in the center exercises and you think "YES! Finally we are going to start dancing." The teacher starts to correct you and you can see the sweat on your leotard in the mirror. You start feeling good about yourself and starting to get more energy. You feel the passion inside and starting to imagine yourself on a big stage dancing as a principal dancer. :) You get to pirouettes and balances and you have some really good ones and some horrible ones. You start to get angry at yourself for not getting the exercises right or not doing the exercises properly. Start jumps in center and from the corner. When we get to jumps you feel like you are flying, but in the same time you feel so tired because your thighs are burning.  You start saying to yourself  "Common you can do this.... PUSH PUSH PUSH!!! You are going to finish and make it great!!!"  REVERANSE and you finish the class with appreciation for the teacher and pianist. You put your warm ups on and start doing strengthening exercises while the teacher is talking to the class. You get to stretching and the teacher leaves the room. I always start thinking about how my class was today after she leaves. I usually think bad because it wasn't my best and I am not good enough so then I leave the studio alone with tears in my eyes.

End of the Day
I get home in my room and collapse in my bed. I sit there for 5 minutes and then I think about my ballet class again. I begin to realize how important BALLET is for me and how much I love to dance. Dancing defines me and understands me in some way that no one else does. Dance is my best friend and I cannot hate it. I just had a bad day but I will have those sometimes and I will also have good days that would make me smile. I need to understand that this is not a easy job (dancing) and that I have to push 100% so I can get to the top where I want to be. Go through sweat and tears and I will make it. I go under my warm blanket and fall asleep with a nice vision of me dancing on a stage as a ballet dancer...in the spotlight.


Everyone has their good days and bad days but there is never black or white in life, there is just grey.

Got back on the road with a big smile on my face believing in my dream and myself  for dance...

Re-acceptance

 As a ballet dancer and a dancer in general you need to get used to being rejected. What do I mean by that? As a student you are not always going to be in the right place of studying dance. That is because different places want a certain body type, passion, technique, artistry and coordination. It is very rough to get rejected at a young age, but these will be the challenges you will face during your whole career as a dancer. If you don't you don't meet up to the standards that the school or company is looking for that doesn't mean your career is over. You can't quit at such a young age when  you have the rest of your life ahead of you. You don't know what the future holds, but you need to always believe in yourself and try your best. There's always people that are here for you to support you through this tough time. What ever happens its for the best.

"When one door closes another opens..."

As a professional dancer you are going to face a lot of these situations in your life. (once every year)
When you are in a ballet company every December/January you are going to find out if the Artistic Director wants your contract renewed.

I hope this will help you through tough times as a dancer, but remember there is always a place for you in this world to thrive.

A child's vision

 When you are a child you are always going to have a life dream. Mine is dancing and since I was 10 I knew that I want to become a dancer. That's where everything started.
 Now after 3 years of intensive training I start to feel like a real professional dancer. In ballet class I imagine myself like one of these amazing dancer from all around the world that have a perfect posture, perfect body, gracefulness and strong. Children that want to become dancers will always want to be more mature and better then their self. That is because of the competition between the students or dancers in general.
 As a child I want to create something that will live forever. For that I will need a lot of power, ambition and determination. I really like being a kid because I have my whole life in front of my eyes and I can live it with happiness and love for what I do. If you don't love what you do you will never be happy. And believe me, I am happy because I am doing what I love.
 Sometimes I feel like I have no chance to be what I want to be and become who I always dreamed to be, because I'm not good enough and because I'm not perfect and then I open my eyes and then I realize that even if I'm not going to be who I wished for, I actually accomplished myself  and I became the best I can be and the most perfect that I can be.

 I looked for the best place I can be this whole time and now I can actually say "This is the best place for me".

Yoga

I had my first Yoga class today in the morning, and I really enjoyed it. My aunt is usually going to yoga and she had the idea to take me.
At the beginning we started with some breathing exercises to relax our bodies. Slowly we started to get into harder exercises. Lots of them are made for your upper body strength and those really helped me because usually in ballet class we aren't building so much arm strength. After the exercises my arms were shaking and they were really sore. Most of the exercises I like are the balance exercises because they take lots of concentration and you will get that in time, but what can really help you get your balance is to find a spot, like a dot or a small place where you can focus on during the balance.
Yoga is very relaxing and fun. It doesn't take lot of effort and it helps you keep your body in a good shape. It would be really nice if you would have time and you would want to go once a week in the morning or evening at a yoga class so you can get all the stress out if your mind and relax.
I really enjoyed the Yoga class and I think anybody would.

Movement

 In this video you can actually understand and see what the body can do to express. The movement of the body is magnificent. I can't take my eyes off it. It's just so much beauty and elegance. In the same time the music and dance steps can be dynamic.
 I really enjoyed watching this dance.
When I'm watching a dance, especially if it is the first time I am watching it, I try to compose in my mind a story of the movement and to understand what the dancer is try to express and to find the meaning of the message that the choreographer putted in the dance movements to create the story.
 It doesn't always have to be a story in the dance it could just be a combination that works with the music and that looks daintily.

{ Alina Cojocaru - Wayne McGregor's Chroma} 

Dance Note - My Decision

 When I was 4 I started my first ballet steps. The real work started when I was 7 years old. My decision that I want to become a professional ballet dancer was in grade 4 when I was 10. I was really excited to experience the real ballet technique and dance in general.

 Next year I wanted ballet more and more so I applied for a summer school in Canada. It was amazing. My life was like a little adventure. I really liked it there so, I was thinking if I can go full time as a student. I got accepted to the school and I started classes in September 2011. Usually I am very enthusiastic about life changes, and because this was a big change I was very happy.

 All most six months have passed and I am really happy with my decision of training in Canada and becoming a ballet dancer. Thinking about my future and how nice it would be if I could make my dream come true. I see all these great ballet dancers from all around the world and I am imagining myself like them. It's such a beautiful thing that I will never get bored of.

 As a dancer and anybody, you have to love what you are doing, because if you don't you will always be unhappy.

{ Alina Cojocaru, Giselle act 1}

Live on stage

 Dancers from all around the world are dancers that are living on stage. You are probably wandering what does that mean. That means the enjoy being on stage and they love what they do.

 I feel the same thing. Before the show I feel all these excitements butterflies in my stomach. When I go on stage I see all these camera flashes coming from the audience, all the shinny spotlight are spotted on me and then the music starts flowing with me on stage. It's just magical. How your body completes the tone of the music and how you feel like you are flying. At the end is the best feeling when everybody is appreciating you with lots of clapping and screaming "Bravo! Bravo!". The next day I wake up and I feel like I accomplished something. It is a great feeling. That whole experience makes me more ambitious and demanding with myself. Even if I have an amazing performance I will still work hard because me and anybody can be better.